So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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