Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
