she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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