You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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