wat bout pragnant strippers??
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
