i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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