Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
