Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
