i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
