yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
