he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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