It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't deserve a penis
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
