just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
