i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize