I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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