Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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