i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
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