Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
