I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
