you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
