Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
