Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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