I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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