its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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