Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
