I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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