you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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