I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
