I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
