He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
