big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
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Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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