a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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