doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
