why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
whose parrot is this?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
