So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
