Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
