The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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