Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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