Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
