i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my sisters under your porch take her home
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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