I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
