Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
