Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
