I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
