my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
