I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i now understand why vodka
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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