it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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