Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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