i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
