Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
