Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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