Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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