This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm lost and stupid without you.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
