Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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