Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
