what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
