It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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