are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
