I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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