Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize