your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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